Culinary queen Martha Stewart is scheduled to make history as she becomes the oldest federal criminal to grace the cover of Sports Illustrated. Chef and lifestyle expert Martha Stewart built a $400 million empire on the importance of self-care in many forms—delicious recipes, home decor, comfortable shoes, CBD gummies—and insider trading. Stewart was convicted of felony charges related to the ImClone trading case in 2004. A case which brought to light events that occurred in 2001 which proved she had avoided a $45,673 loss by gaining non-public, insider information on a stock in the company ImClone which was expected to drop sharply.

The pharmaceutical company’s cancer drug Erbitux failed to get FDA approval and executives with ImClone along with Stewart were arrested for selling company stocks prior to the news being made public. Essentially, she transferred her losses to unknowing parties. $45,673 worth of losses. Stewart was photographed in the Dominican Republic alongside Megan Fox, Kim Petras, and Brooks Nader. So, this is looking to be the career kickstarter for Nader. I’m supposing the theme for Martha’s shoot was to make her look like she doesn’t engage in pump and dump securities schemes. With Kim Petras’ photos, the world will get to see what a generic electronic artist looks like in a swimsuit. The 2023 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue will be launching next week. Apparently Martha Stewart is throwing ‘Modesty out the window’ for the sultry “Sports Illustrated Swimsuit” cover. Can’t wait. Between getting to see Martha Stewart in a bathing suit and the ironic dedication of the Met Gala to Karl Lagerfeld, I would say that this will be a huge year for high fashion.